You won't know
by trulybliss08
Summary: "I have no friends." A Kyle centric Kyman one shot rated T for language.


**A/N: OMG! It s done, I finished the non rape Kyman oneshot I ve been working on forever for adrenaline. I kept changing my mind about how I wanted it to end, and yeah, I probably went with the most far out ending and there isn't a whole lot of Kyman in here but, I am not rewriting it again damn it!**

**I don't own south park **

**...  
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How did I end up here? Oh that's right I remember. I'm the world's biggest push-over! That's how I ended up lying in the bed of the world's most manipulative ass. Actually if you put it that way then we sound like a match made in heaven. But, let me assure you that there is nothing heavenly about it, not about us and most defiantly not about him … No we didn't have sex, don't jump to conclusions like that!

No, I'm just lying here on his bed, alone where he left me, wondering where in the Hell he's gone to. Honestly he's probably down stairs eating something or another like the lard ass he is. So then why am I still here you ask?

It's a long story but, to put it simply, I don't like change. What, not enough? Fine …

So, Stan stopped hanging out with me a couple months back so he could spend more time with his boyfriend Gary the gay Mormon. He's really fallen overboard with this kid. It's even gotten to the point that when we do hang out he is either constantly talking about him or getting texts from the little fairy.

What makes it worse is that Gary is so damn nice, almost to the point of excess. I'm not exaggerating when I say that Gary would give you his left nut if you asked for it. Plus he treats Stan so well and really, as his super best friend that's all I want for him. So no matter how much I want to, he really makes it damn near impossible for me to hate him. But, don't worry, I'll keep trying.

Kenny was the next to go, but it's not like I hadn't been expecting it. I mean, I always knew he had a bit of a drug problem. But, I never thought that his addiction would lead him right into Craig's lap. That's right Craig fucking Tucker.

As it turns out when Tweek overdosed last year Craig started getting real friendly with Ken. If my boyfriend literally downed in a pool of his own vomit because he was too strung out to notice, I think I would consider cleaning up my act. But, no, Craig just moves on to the next blonde with a substance addiction he can find aka Kenny.

Sure, Kenny made an effort for a while to spend time with me. Especially right after Stan ditched me. But, after a while I could tell there were places he would rather be. So even though I didn't want to, I let him go.

Which leads me to the part of our story where in you find me here, comfortably sprawled out on the bed of the last friend I have left. Well, that is if I can call Eric Cartman a friend. He's more like an enemy I've let get too close .

So, yeah like I said, that's how I ended up on Eric Cartman's bed. We were hanging out here, alone in his room and I was complaining about how with Stan and Kenny gone I don't have any friends and he just gets up and walks off. I didn't follow him or call after him, honestly I'm not even sure why he left.

I don't know, lately he's been different and yeah I know that even fat ass is capable of change. But, it's fairly disconcerting; in my mind Cartman has always been resolute and immovable, like a bolder thats far too heavy to be moved. I really just feel like I'm at a loss here.

I bet this is what he wants me to be doing, sitting here thinking about him. Fuck that shit! I should go find him and give him a piece of my mind, and I know just where to start looking …

"I knew I would find you in the kitchen stuffing your face, what are you such a fat ass you can't go more than an hour in between feedings? No, I know what it is, I'm too much a bore for you to hang out with. Lord knows that's why Stan and Kenny ditched me." I must look crazy right now, I mean, I just stormed in here and started screaming at him. My cheeks are burning with what I wish was anger instead of embarrassment and I can feel the familiar sting of tears beginning to wheal up. Any normal and sane person would just stop here, they would see the confused and almost hurt look Cartman is giving them and they would calm down. But, as I am my mother's son I just keep yelling, I don't know how to stop.

I don't even know what I'm saying, I'm just screaming things like "Who would want to be friends with me anyways?" and "Can't believe you stuck around this long!" Every little thought I had buried away these past few months comes bursting forth from my open mouth and just to top it all off now I'm flat out bawling too, lovely.

I scream and cry until there's no air left in my lungs, my throat is sore and my eyes swollen. I don't have anything left to say and I'm so tired by this point that I just want to collapse right in the middle of Cartman's kitchen floor. I think he knows that too cause he's giving me this really weird look and reaching out like maybe he wants to try and help.

"Don't bother! I know you're going to leave me like everyone else has; we were never really friends anyway." I snap and try to bat off his hands. Unfortunately Cartman seems to not only be faster than I am but, he's also seems to be stonger. As He grabs my wrist in one hand he spins me around and pins me to a nearby wall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing fatass?" I scream as I feel a needle pierce the skin on my upper arm.

"I'm sorry Kyle but, it's for the best. You are being irrational and I don't want to risk you hurting yourself or anyone else."

"The fuck are you talking about? No one else is here." I can feel whatever it was Cartman injected me with filtering into my system already as he loosens his grip and lets me slide down the wall to the floor.

"Kyle, where do you think you are?"

"… the Hell are you talking about Cartman? I'm at your house."

"No Kyle, I'm not Eric Cartman, you know that. My name is Sean Carney, Doctor Sean Carney. I am your attending here at Hell's pass sanitarium, I have been for the last year, ever since the accident."

"What're you talking about?"

"Kyle, Eric Cartman is a figment of your imagination. You made him up to help you cope with the grief of losing both of your best friends in that tragic accident. You know all of this."

" No …"

"It was late and you were driving Stan and Kenny home from a party, they were drunk. You hadn't had anything to drink but, you were tired."

"Please no…"

"You fell asleep at the wheel and veered off the road. Your car rolled down the side of the mountain into a patch of tree. Stan died on impact, Kenny died an hour later in your arms."

"N-no no no no"

"You've suffered a psychotic break from reality and I can not help you until you accept that your friends are dead and Eric Cartman is not real."

"E-eric isn't real?" Eric isn't real, Eric isn't real. It was all I could manage to think as Dr Carney brought me back to my room, not Eric's room, no this is my room at the mental hospital. I was in a mental hospital because Stan and Kenny were dead and Eric wasn't real.

"I have no friends." I whispered to myself

"Now Kahl," Came his voice "I never meant to make you feel like you didn't matter at all to me. I know we argue all the time and I give you tons of crap but, we've also been though a lot together and maybe that alone doesn't make us friends. But, it makes us something. So, whatever, you know I just hope things can be cool."

I chanced a glace to my bedside where Eric was sitting looking at me, I knew he wasn't supposed to be there. Eric Cartman isn't real. How did I end up here? Oh that's right I remember.


End file.
